Monday, 10 October 2011

Update #8 - Desperate measures!

Hmmm, so someone is looking for an update ... 

Let me start off with saying dieting sucks and even if I promised myself (plus world and dog) that I'm on the right track twice now over the past 2 months I've been doing diddly squat about the eating thing. 

Personally I think I'm the world's foremost expert on dieting and living healthy after reading approximately 1 brazillion books and websites on the subject but do you guys think I do anything about it? Nope, nada, fuckall, zilch! 

At least I'm trying during the week but there will always be at least 2 days in the week that I totally fuck-up everything and eat like a demon. Things are now so bad that I'm actually considering the following options ... 

  1. Follow a low-fat, vegan like plant based diet ... maybe something like the Engine 2 diet but in all honesty I'm not ready to give up cheese, youghurt or the odd chicken breast! 
  2. Join a monastery in India, commit a white-collar crime and get locked up in a low-security prison or join a wood-cutting crew and live in the woods in some far-off wilderness 
  3. Wait for the freaking aliens to finally arrive and hope they have some sort of fat-zapping device! 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm gatvol of trying to live my life according to what "the norm" is supposed  to be ... I do realise that I'm a big ugly fat fuck and I do know I'll probably die of a heart-attack earlier than my super fit friends but I'll get over this shitty fat 30-year phase of my life doing it my way. 

Before I totally go off at a tangent and sound like a bitter old fatty who missed his evening cookie I honestly hope I achieve this goal before I actually die of a heart-attack and I do hope my friends (and anonymous web followers) keep on supporting me and kick me in the arse every now and then ... just don't expect miracles overnight and just accept the fact that no matter how I look I'm actually quite happy with myself (even if some of my previous posts might indicate otherwise) so fuckit, just let me be!!! I'll get there eventually! 

Having spend a significant portion of my day yesterday walking around Nasrec at JIMS listening to 2 close ( and much, much slimmer and trimmer) friends moan and bitch almost the whole fucking day about being tired of walking and standing around and other warra-warra shit, this whole "What-the-Fuck ???" attitude slowly dawned on me and made me realise I'm actually in a happy place at this moment in my life so fuck the rest (plus world and dog) 

Will update this blog one day when I feel like it ... I'm now going to lie on the couch and eat a fucking cookie! 


  1. this makes me sad

  2. Hi Sad Panda ... don't worry, I'm not pulling an Obelix on myself. Was simply venting a bit last night after a shitty day at work.

    Oh, and I didn't have a cookie :-)

  3. Have you had a cookie in the last 8 days?

  4. Actually I haven't ... did eat a cappuccino muffin on Sunday though!

    It was awesome

  5. Dude in the end it all boils down to are you happy with yourself. You can't do this for the world, dog, friends or some Anonymous reader in some dark room somewhere in the twisted mess that is the internet.

    Being slim & fit doesn't guarantee you a longer life than a 'fat' person it just improves your odds a bit just like wearing a safety belt doesn't guarantee you'll survive a car crash it just means you'll be in the best place in the car for the safety features to work at the best.

    I know of more than one person that was supper fit that died of heart attach, cholesterol that broke loose & shot through the heart, blocked a artery to the brain, etc, etc

    Like everything in life we try to minimize the risk as much as possible.

    The Wife worked in a clinic for a while & the scary thing is that more thin people had the most problems cause they are not aware of the issues they had they highest cholesterol reading, the worst blood sugar levels, etc

    Something i read in book said if you want to start running commit to the bare minimum just get up every morning put on your running shoes & walk out the door stand there for 2min & walk back in, do this as long as it takes for you to get tired of getting up & doing nothing & go for a jog!

    Find the bare minimum you can commit to you & commit to that till you find yourself wanting to do more...

  6. Thanx man ... I've been meaning to update the blog but I've been so busy it simply gets postponed everyday.

    Anyway, as I'm typing this I'm sweating my ass off an recovering from a slight heart attack (from 5 minutes of exercise)

    Will update blog shortly but basically I've decided to give this thing another proper go ... baby steps is all it takes!

  7. Looking forward to the update :)

    Anonymous (coder)