Monday, 10 October 2011

Update #8 - Desperate measures!

Hmmm, so someone is looking for an update ... 

Let me start off with saying dieting sucks and even if I promised myself (plus world and dog) that I'm on the right track twice now over the past 2 months I've been doing diddly squat about the eating thing. 

Personally I think I'm the world's foremost expert on dieting and living healthy after reading approximately 1 brazillion books and websites on the subject but do you guys think I do anything about it? Nope, nada, fuckall, zilch! 

At least I'm trying during the week but there will always be at least 2 days in the week that I totally fuck-up everything and eat like a demon. Things are now so bad that I'm actually considering the following options ... 

  1. Follow a low-fat, vegan like plant based diet ... maybe something like the Engine 2 diet but in all honesty I'm not ready to give up cheese, youghurt or the odd chicken breast! 
  2. Join a monastery in India, commit a white-collar crime and get locked up in a low-security prison or join a wood-cutting crew and live in the woods in some far-off wilderness 
  3. Wait for the freaking aliens to finally arrive and hope they have some sort of fat-zapping device! 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm gatvol of trying to live my life according to what "the norm" is supposed  to be ... I do realise that I'm a big ugly fat fuck and I do know I'll probably die of a heart-attack earlier than my super fit friends but I'll get over this shitty fat 30-year phase of my life doing it my way. 

Before I totally go off at a tangent and sound like a bitter old fatty who missed his evening cookie I honestly hope I achieve this goal before I actually die of a heart-attack and I do hope my friends (and anonymous web followers) keep on supporting me and kick me in the arse every now and then ... just don't expect miracles overnight and just accept the fact that no matter how I look I'm actually quite happy with myself (even if some of my previous posts might indicate otherwise) so fuckit, just let me be!!! I'll get there eventually! 

Having spend a significant portion of my day yesterday walking around Nasrec at JIMS listening to 2 close ( and much, much slimmer and trimmer) friends moan and bitch almost the whole fucking day about being tired of walking and standing around and other warra-warra shit, this whole "What-the-Fuck ???" attitude slowly dawned on me and made me realise I'm actually in a happy place at this moment in my life so fuck the rest (plus world and dog) 

Will update this blog one day when I feel like it ... I'm now going to lie on the couch and eat a fucking cookie!